So You Think You Can Dance — Salt Lake City auditions

14 06 2012

So You Think You Can Dance, Season 9, Salt Lake Auditions — 2012

Judges Adam Shankman, Mary Murphy and Nigel Lythgoe gave a tutorial about what NOT to do when you are auditioning: No booty shaking; no self-worship (rubbing, touching yourself); and no reaching, with Adam Shankman doing the illustrations. The girls dominated in this city as did ballroom dance, which has been not seen much at all in the other cities.

Who I Liked A LOT

Witney Carson, American Fork, Utah, Cha-Cha/Tango: The girl on FIRE. It was hot and she is only 18 years of age. Her father looked very uncomfortable in the audience as Nigel talked about her sensuality and sexuality within the dance. Mary, for the first time this audition season, put her on the HOT TAMALE TRAIN, and blew out the eardrums of Nigel and Adam. Adam claimed, “I’m a slave for you.” And uses the “F” word in Salt Lake City. She is definitely through to Vegas.

Witney Carson

Gene Lonardo; Las Vegas, Nevada; contemporary: Although I should put him in the Odd-Ball LOT because he came out saying he was going to do the dance of the male praying mantis, it was stunning to watch, and I immediately thought that Sonya Tayeh (choreographer) would love to play the female praying mantis. The routine really made him stand out. He was an average dancer as contemporary styles go, but the fact that he choreographed the dance himself set him apart. Although it did get weird when Gene told Nigel he imagined him as the female praying mantis (because Nigel was fearsome to him). Awkward. He is through to Vegas.

Gene Lonardo, male praying mantis

Lindsay Arnold; Provo, Utah; ballroom Latin: She dances wonderfully. It was a shame her partner was not competing because he deserved a ticket as well). She was through to Vegas.

Lindsay Arnold

Mariah Spears; Phoenix, Arizona; krump: White girls CAN KRUMP! I was not expecting this. When she said she was going to krump, Adam spat out his drink. But she lived up to the hype. She was fabulous. I wished L’il C was in the room judging then. I think she needs to work on the open-mouth look. The anger should come through her movements without the “O” face. She was sent to choreography and then on to Vegas.

Mariah Spears

Murphy Yang; Roy, Utah; contemporary: His family disowned him and moved to California. He was homeless for awhile. I admire him for sticking to his dreams despite his idiot family. He had quite a mixture of styles in his dance. There was a good sense of humor, good musicality. Then he lifted his shirt with “Vegas?” on it and I loved it. He has had no formal training. I bet you if Debbie Allen had been the judge, she would have offered him free lessons at one of her schools. Adam Shankman was on the verge of tears. Murphy was sent to choreography but for this year it was a no to Vegas. Murphy–Keep on refining your technique. You are SO close to getting a ticket to Vegas. Do not give up. I ADMIRE you.

Murphy Yang

Dareian Kujawa; Boulder City, Nevada; contemporary: He, too, had a very rough life. They were very poor and it was a depressing, dark life. He decided to create a roadmap for himself and dancing pulled him out of this dark place. This man is filled with inner strength and it showed in his dance. It was filled with great emotion and great athleticism. He had beautiful lines. Of course he was going to Vegas!

Dareian Kujawa

Leroy Martinez; Sacramento, California; hip-hop. He also has had a rough life, but turning to dance helped him. He is the only one in his family to live a straight life. It was his first audition ever. He works at a doggie day care by day and gives back to the community working with the Peacemakers program, a group who works to establish afterschool programs in the community. There is an article done in a local paper about this group. Please click here to read more about it.  Because of his larger size, one thinks he is going to be unable to do impressive moves. He breaks stereotypes. He was AWESOME. Adam was crying and hesitated to say it, but said it was “fucking awesome.” Of course it was bleeped out. He went on to choreography and it was a no for Vegas, but something inside of me tells me that Adam is going to do something for this young man.

Leroy Martinez

Who I Thought Was Average

Deanna “Dee” Tomasetta; Millbury, MA; contemporary: She was beautiful to watch. I really liked the backbend move she had which showed really excellent control. The one thing that did not match for me was the smile with the song, which then reminded me of Ryan Ramirez. The song she chose was “I Can’t Make You Love Me” by Bonnie Raitt. The song is about unrequited love. But she is smiling the ENTIRE performance. I should have felt angst in there. That is the only reason why she is in the “average” category for me. But the judges loved it and she is through to Vegas.

Deanna “Dee” Tomasetta

Adrian Lee; Los Angeles, California; contemporary: In season 7 he came so close to being in the show, but that was the year they picked the best 10 and had them dance with 10 all-stars. He was not invited. His family became very down on the show after that and he chose not to tell them he was auditioning this time. However, between then and now, season 8 happened–the top 20 best dancers EVER chosen, and his dance looks very amateurish when comparing it to people from last season. He is doing the self-worship moves despite being told that the judges did not want to see that. Mary was crying because the emotion of having to tell him “no” in season 7 came flooding back. He did get a ticket to Vegas and Nigel gave him another ticket for his mother to come along. He has to do better in Vegas or he will be cut.

Adrian Lee

Rachel Applehaus; Denver, Colorado; burlesque jazz: She claims she was shy growing up. She hoped that her dance would make Nigel uncomfortable.  She was hot and sultry but she rolled on the floor too much. Then I started thinking this reminds me of a dancer in a gentleman’s club and I became uncomfortable. There was not enough substance in her routine. Then they said she was doing burlesque jazz (Is that like Anchorman’s jazz flute?) and she is through to choreography and then on to Vegas.

Rachel Applehaus

Odd-Ball LOT

Lynn Gravatt; Portland, Oregon; space dance: The story was being set up as a disaster. She claims that her energy comes from the Pleiades constellation. She has three spirit guides (Divine DeFlame–which is her highest self; they flash Mary Murphy on the frame; then Devil DeFlame (which is her “male” dancer, and of course Nigel is flashed on the screen; the third is Rainbow Light Bright, which is of course Adam). Before Lynn starts, Mary is giggling a lot. Lynn is a former aerospace engineer that has worked on aircraft we will see in 10-15 years. Very intelligent woman. She was not that bad considering she has had no formal training. Being 33, that automatically disqualified her from being part of the show, but the judges were very kind to her.  She left with a wonderful message for people to never give up on their dreams, no matter what their age.

Lynn Gravatt

Johnny Ahn and Whitney Hallam; Orem, Utah; ballroom: This guy is so full of EGO it isn’t funny. And the look on his partner’s face the entire time she is with him is one of contempt. I do not blame her. He should spend less time on watching videos on how to get dates and more time on how to be a good dance partner. There is a 10-year age difference between them. She is unimpressed with his MAN-GO. His ballroom “O” face bothers me. He NEVER looks at his gorgeous partner. The dance is all about him–“Hey look at me–I think I’m hotter than I really am.” They are sent through to choreography but it is a “no” to Vegas for both of them. My advice to Whitney is to get another dance partner quickly and come back next year. I would never pick up the phone and vote for him, so he should just not come back to audition for the show.

If looks could kill….Whitney Hallam and Johnny Ahn

Next week is So You Think You Can Dance Hell Week! I cannot wait.


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Categories : Fox Shows, So You Think You Can Dance, TV shows

My “Touch” Moment

21 03 2012

By Hilda Clark Bowen

Coincidence. Fate. Is there truly a God that controls all things down to the microsecond of your life or just the big stuff? After all, if God exists, he/she gave us the free will to make choices. Those choices ripple out into consequences, good or bad. These are the questions we all ask ourselves and our answers may vary throughout our life as our own experiences shape our reality.

I had always felt it was fate that led me to find Jeff. It is difficult to put a starting point in this story. My father-in-law passed away in February 2012. For those of you who haven’t seen the new Fox series “Touch”, the experience made me instantly think of this show. It is loosely based on the red string of fate, a Chinese legend that said the gods tie an invisible red string around the ankles of those that are destined to be soul mates and will one day marry each other. The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break, a concept very similar to soul mates. Tim Kring of the new TV show “Touch” expands that to include groups of individuals but still connected by love.

Red string of fate; unknown credit

I met Jeff on July 4, 1990, the last day of my vacation that began with my dear friend, Louise Rizzuto, getting married, on Long Island. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. After the wedding, I traveled down to New Jersey to see my sister and my aunt. On that last night back on Long Island, my friend and now Patrick’s godmother, Patty, asked me to go out with her that evening. She wanted me to meet the best friend of her boyfriend, Larry. I almost did not get there. My foster brother stole my keys and would not give them back to me, and making me very late. Jeff told me he was about to leave. We met around the corner from where he lived in Setauket. We stayed at the restaurant for a few hours and then I told Jeff I would still love to sit by the water, as I had not had an opportunity to do that. He took me to a beach that apparently was frequented by drug dealers. When the police raided the beach, I was terrified I was going to jail for just sitting on the beach talking with him, so I ran. Jeff grabbed my purse and ran with me. After the police car stopped us and determined I truly was just some out-of-towner who did not realize the beach was closed, he let us go. Jeff found another place where we could talk out in public. I think I left about 4-5 a.m. and went back to where I was staying to pack and drive to the airport.

The rest of our relationship unfolded. He eventually moved down here in January of 1991 into his own apartment. We were engaged in July of 1991, but he wanted me to meet his family before making the announcement.  We did that on August 11, 1991 the day after his cousin’s wedding. We were married in October 1992.

My friend Patty said that we were the best thing that came out of her relationship with Jeff’s best friend. Patty and Larry broke up shortly after that.

As we continued to find out about each other, I discovered that Jeff went to our rival high school, Ward Melville, and had often been to our school for sports. I was often at the school because in my sophomore year, I was president of my class. He lived right around the corner from SUNY Stony Brook, the college my sister attended, and where I often visited. That is important because around the corner from there was the Pancake Cottage, where my sister and I would have breakfast, as would Jeff and his family. It is possible that we were in the restaurant at the same time together and never knew it. Then we traced ourselves back even further. He remembers a classmate of his coming back from the Suffolk County LIBEC contest for typing in 1981, saying she was beat from someone from Patchogue (as if that was pond scum; we were a lower socioeconomic group than Ward Melville). Yep, that person was me.

Meanwhile in Setauket, Long Island, before we met, Jeff’s sister Deirdre was off at college in Massachusetts. She became roommates with Trish. Deirdre eventually married Frank. Trish married John.

Trish and John belonged to a very small church in New Jersey. They were very close to Jennifer. Jennifer and John were working on bringing a more contemporary service to their church. He knew Marilyn and Tony, Jennifer’s parents. He also knew Michelle and Gordon Dobson. One day Jennifer tells them she is moving to Texas to start a business to help this family out. Marilyn and Tony followed. They were very sad to see her go.

I had a miscarriage with my first baby (a boy, we named Matthew Joseph). Then Patrick was born, and he was later diagnosed with multiple disabilities including autism. In August 2010, I decided to pull him out of public school and try to get him into an autism school in the area. The place we found was Including Kids (InKids) run by Jennifer Dantzler.

On February 5, 2012, my father-in-law died. The wake would be Thursday of that next week and the funeral on Friday. We debated back and forth about who would go up there–just Jeff or would we try to attempt this trip as a family. Patrick’s behavior was much better since being at InKids, and we knew Jeff’s mom would love to see Patrick; she had not seen him in almost a decade (she could not fly down because of my father-in-law’s condition and we dared not even try before this time). The whole family would be happy to see him.

I was with Patrick in a lounge area at the funeral home when Jeff pops his head in and says, “You have to come over here; someone here knows Jennifer Dantzler.” I looked at him what a “what the hell” look. As we are walking, he tells me, “Deirdre’s roommate from college.” Then I thought the connection was that Jennifer also went to college in Massachusetts (not the same place, but maybe they knew each other from that area). While they were talking, Jeff stated that Patrick had autism and that he was going to a school for autism. Trish asked, “Do you know Jennifer Dantzler?” Jeff said, “She runs the school.” There are many schools for autism here in throughout Houston and the surrounding areas. As we talked to these people, my mind was connecting all the dots. Jennifer Dantzler is the executive director of Including Kids (InKids), the place where Patrick goes to school.

We talked about this huge coincidence for almost 30 minutes or more. John told me he remembered clearly when Jennifer said she was moving down to Texas. They were all shocked. I said, “The woman is fearless.” He agreed that was a good word for her. He said they had lost touch with each other in the last 4 years. At that very moment, I wanted to place a call to InKids, but it was late at night and no one would be there. We also discovered that while they were at this church, the Dobson’s offered up a French meal for 10-12 as a church raffle. Michelle is a French chef. It is something they offer similarly here for our Boots and Bling Gala, which is coming up on April 14, 2012. Trish said, “We invited Deirdre and Frank to that.” The Dobson’s are now on the board of directors for the school and also live down here. Tony and Marilyn routinely are the ones to serve the food to people at these type events, so Deirdre and Frank likely saw them at that dinner without ever knowing they were to become part of our lives, too, at a future date. John said Jennifer, Marilyn and Tony had been on his mind for the last 2 weeks. We shared with Trish and John that if it were not for Jennifer and her staff, Patrick would not be here making that long journey from Texas to New Jersey. We shared with them all the progress Patrick has been able to make since going to InKids. The next day at Deirdre’s house, I told Deirdre about the connections. They also took her by surprise.

Upon returning home, I was eager to run in and tell Jennifer, but I was too late. They had already contacted them. Marilyn said the email started, “I don’t believe in coincidences…” The email made her cry. Marilyn shared with me that 2 weeks ago, Trish and John were on her mind, too. Apparently, Marilyn/Jennifer and Trish/John had lost contact with each other for at least the past 4 years. Trish and John went on to make a monetary donation to Including Kids in honor of Patrick and in memory of Patrick’s grandfather.  Best of all, they were back in contact with each other.

The mathematical probability of this happening is unlikely, but there it was–my “Touch” moment. There was a string that connected all our lives and it took this particularly sad event of my father-in-law’s passing for all the pieces to be revealed.

Have you ever had moments such as these? Please feel free to share in the comment section.

UPDATE FEB 2013

Trish and John subsequently made donations to my son’s school for autism, Including Kids. In January, their son came down to see if a particular career path was right for him or not. Where was he? At Patrick’s school. He had been down for 3 weeks and one day I went in to volunteer and we met. This was almost a full year after my father-in-law passed away. If he does decide to move here, we may also have some part-time work he can do directly with Patrick at home. The connections continue.


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Categories : Autism, Fox Shows, Metaphysical, Personal, Touch, TV shows

Shadows to Shade

18 01 2012

I’m scared.

There. I actually wrote the words down; I wasn’t sure if I could. Many know I’m grieving right now, but few know how scared I am. Not a panic that I feel when I try to sing in public; not my posttraumatic stress disorder panic and anxiety related to certain medical procedures that remind me of an assault that occurred in my 20’s and/or my recent hospitalization for whatever happened to my arm that resulted in that horrible infection I had. This is…..something else.

I’ve been in denial about it for several months, believing from head to toe that if I thought it was NOT true, it would turn out not to BE true–the power of positive thinking. Names have great power; I did not want this to have any power.

When I found out last Monday that my friend, Diane, died, it snapped me back to semi-reality and I accepted that my test results on Friday would come back positive (as my doctor had informed me they would), but the question of what it was and to what degree still lurked in the shadows.

Shadows remind me of my childhood in our tenement in Brooklyn where this spine-chillingly vicious dog lived that would lurch out and try to bite me every time I went up the stairs. Shadows were the bad things that were about to happen to me in the rooms of my home most of my so-called childhood. Wondering, when I was age 4-5, if the wife could survive the beating from her husband in the shadows under the neighbor’s door. Shadows are the terrors that torment you, the face you see in every person after you’ve been told at age 9 that your stepfather may show up one day and try to kill you. Shadows of the life you would never have had when your mother tells you she wished she had aborted you (and meant it). Shadows are the abandonment you feel at age 14 when she tells you to leave and take only what you have bought with your own money with you. And the shadows that stretched from her grave to crush my heart one last time when my sisters found their baby pictures while going through her stuff, confirming that when she laughed in my face when she said she threw mine out, that I guess she really did. The only evidence of my existence that I was in her life are in those pictures I happened to be in with my sisters. Thrown away into the shadows of garbage she felt I was.

I was about 14 months old here; the earliest picture that exists of me now. My sister, Eva, holding my hand. I was a cute baby!

After all I’ve been through and all I’ve seen, to say I’m scared now seems illogical. The tests did come back positive, but there seemed to be more questions now after the kidney biopsy than answers. A lot of blood work was drawn after that visit–more shadows.  Yet, there is a difference.  There is trust, great trust, in those caring for me that is helping to keep the shadows in their place.

On February 3, I hope we will be able to modpodge some of the puzzle.  Names have great power, even names things are not. Until then, I remain in….shade.


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Categories : Metaphysical, Personal

Reflections of 2011

28 12 2011

As we near the close of 2011, most of us look back and reflect on the year, vowing to make changes in the next year. I have never been big on making resolutions. Oftentimes we make resolutions so impossible to achieve, we set ourselves up for failure as soon as we write them and commit to them on paper (or in our heads). I downsized from resolutions to an “it would be nice if…” list and downsized to no list at all. As each individual year progressed, when I saw opportunities for growth and change, I took those paths. Perhaps it is the free spirit in me that did not want to get tied down to a list, wanting to bend and move the way a tree does in the wind.

This year has been a year of extremes in my life. Fortunately most of the events were on the positive end (see The Bowen Backyard 2011 post).

I decided that one goal is sufficient to cover all the others: Wake up every morning cheerful and bright BEFORE the morning shower. If one day it becomes impossible to achieve, resolutions will no longer matter anyway.

Happy New Year!


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Categories : Personal

The 2011 Bowen Backyard

26 12 2011

The Bowen Backyard 2011

We hope this letter finds you all well and happy. It’s funny how after Halloween things churn into high-gear. This year has been quite eventful for us.

Patrick’s learning accelerated. It is going to be hard for me to share everything so here are the highlights: He now communicates with an IPad. His verbal communication has increased, too, but it is not as predictable. He greets people with “hi.” Recently we’ve heard a phrase that sounds like “go away” which sometimes is appropriate to the situation and sometimes is echolalia. Patrick is now back to playing soccer and by this fall was working well with a teenage buddy. His basketball throw is improving as well; he has gotten the ball in the hoop, too. He is getting better at pressing the right numbers on the microwave after we give him a verbal prompt of what number he needs to press. He attended a concert at Miller Outdoor Theater & passed out flyers about the school afterwards.

How wonderful it is that our community is becoming sensitive to the needs of our kiddos. He’s attended several sensory-friendly movies, like Rio, The Smurfs, etc. He has also had field trips to Chefs-2-B where he created his own pizza. Jeff and I took him to the planetarium and museum. He did not want to sit in a recliner chair, and fortunately, the museum had regular-backed chairs for those differently-abled. He enjoyed the energy exhibit. When we got to the gem/jewelry exhibit, he helped me try to find the exit very quickly–typical male! You can view some Patrick videos on http://www.youtube.com/user/JadeKirra (my Jedi name–no laughing; geeks rule!)

During spring break, he used his IPad independently to say, “Mom, I need help” and then he verbally said, “I need help” right after it. These are always surreal moments to us. He was playing Connect 4 independently with a peer at school, a child who I can say has actually been as close to a friend to Patrick as he has ever had. It’s fun to see him laughing again. He was shown the “ice” button in a Subway store. He kept pushing the ice button and laughing every time ice came out. He reminds us of the beauty of living in the moment. He enjoys using the self check-out areas of the store with the scanner and knows to scan it & put it in the bag. He helps placing items on a conveyor belt from the basket and adores the debit/credit swipe computer, so we got him a gift card that he can use to make his own purchases. In May, he attended his first wedding. We dressed him up in nice pants, a shirt and a tie; he looked so handsome.

Patrick in his first tie, and not a clip-on

He refused to keep his shirt tucked in, and we gave up the struggle. One must pick the battles to be fought.

During the summer, he went sailing for the very first time and enjoyed it. This fall the school has been working on academics and activities that will lead to employment (office work, stacking cans, etc.). He has begun to understand the concept of talking on the phone and is following simple directions given.

Yeah, I really don't like that hat. Get it off.

While things sound all peaches and creams, we do have our trying moments where we really hate autism. As with all parents, we deal with the “teen attitude.” Patrick will be 16 on December 17. Our baby is almost 6 feet tall.

Mom feels like a hobbit here.

The best news for us and for Patrick came in June when I signed the documents. The school district is now paying for Patrick’s private school tuition, the bus drive, and a private agency to do speech therapy with him. He will get OT through a school-provided individual who will go out to the school. WE WON, WE WON, WE WON! Seven long years of battle. When they went to observe him at school, his progress was undeniable. It was done in a simple meeting; no due process; no mediation. The sense I got from that meeting was that this would be permanent for the rest of Patrick’s school career, even though they have to review it year to year. The burden that lifted off our shoulders was immense.

The year has been busy for us as well. I left the science fiction website I was writing for in January and a month later got an extraordinary opportunity to be part of something called Fox VIP, at the recommendation of our local Fox station. I continued to write and promote shows, and now I was getting all these presents. Out of all the things I received, my favorites were a signed “Fringe” script,

The signed Fringe script. Treasured forever.

my “So You Think You Can Dance” shoes,

So You Think You Can Dance Shoes Thanks for FOXVIP

and my “New Girl” Adorkable T-shirt.

My "New Girl" adorkable T-shirt

I also had an opportunity through this association to fly out in May to Los Angeles to the American Idol finale show (airfare, hotel, spending money all covered). Sadly Jeff could not go with me, so my friend Glicel did.

Delays, delays, delays

We met up with my brother-in-law for lunch & dinner with a friend.

Me and my brother in law.

Robert Meyer Burnett, my friend Glicel, and Me at Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in the hotel.

I think I got about 9 hours of sleep during the 3 days involved.

Between Feb and April, I did a lot of work on the school’s Rock Autism benefit.

My semi-rock look. Kids were going to be there so I had to tone it down.

The week after was our Boots and Bling Gala (April 2011) in which 320 people came out to support Patrick’s school at The Woodlands Resort and Conference Center. I was able to help with the event as it approached and afterwards. Being involved with Patrick’s school is deeply gratifying. I would do anything for them. They are the heroes who help hundreds of children.

One half of the people there.

The other side of the room with the dual screens, each for each side.

In October, I went to visit my sister in NC; I had not seen her in at least 5-6 years. Out of all the things we did during the extended weekend, our trip to Cherokee was my favorite. I adore learning about other people’s cultures and history, but most especially their spiritual/religious beliefs.

Oak Grove Inn?

Cherokee, North Carolina

As December beckons, I am in charge of the book fair at InKids and now am the print/promotions chairperson for their Boots & Bling Gala 2012. Being such, I want all my Houston area friends to come. It is so much fun. Save the date: April 14, 2012 at The Woodlands Resort and Conference Center on North Millbend in Grogan’s Mill. In June, I attended my first CD release party of local talent who I became familiar with during my efforts of Rock Autism.

I continue to blog at here, tweet http://twitter.com/pbmom, and you can find me at Facebook here:  http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1535065933.   For as many joys and blessings that have come into my life this year, sadness also visited in the span of 2 months with the tragic death of a friend’s son, the expected death of another friend, Joe, and the unexpected death of my friend and neighbor of 15 years, Lenie.

Jeff and I did manage some time away in January of 2011 to Dallas to the Women of Sci-Fi Convention where we got to speak to Alaina Huffman,

Alaina Huffman

Katee Sackhoff, and Tricia Helfer for a considerable length of time.

Katee Sackhoff

Tricia Helfer

In addition to their Q&A sessions, we also got to see Q&A sessions from Nichelle Nichols (of Star Trek), and Yvonne Craig (the original Batgirl).  Erin Gray (Buck Rogers) was also there as was Morena Baccarin (Stargate SG-1, V, Homeland). Jeff thought it was funny that when he would come back from going to the bathroom, I would surrounded by a group of male geeks chatting with me about what I thought about this show or that show, how I felt about the female additions to Human Target that season, and into more heavy anthropological and cultural advances that have expanded the once exclusive male areas of geek to women, like the expanding roles of lead female characters in video games.  The male-geek-to-female-geek ratio was 10:1 if not higher. We also got to meet up with another Twitter friend who flew in from Vancouver, British Columbia, and met some other people through him. I also had breakfast with one of my high school friends from New York. She hasn’t changed much at all in all these years.

ScoobyKoo from Vancouver and Me at Women of SciFi Convention, Plano, Jan 2011

Jeff has been extremely busy at work, taking on new responsibilities as a member of his company’s safety team. Since he works for a utility company, the emphasis on safety is extremely important. Some of his duties include conducting monthly safety meetings, bringing in industry speakers, CPR training, blood drives, managing the group’s website and content, and preparing his business unit for safety audits. In addition, his work has picked up significantly in his department as the company is building new power plants. He often states to his coworkers that there are not enough hours in the day! Jeff continues to exercise and has brought Patrick along on his two-mile walks of our dog, Maddie. We think that this and other physical fitness activities have helped Patrick improve. In his spare time Jeff continues read his books and play his videogames.

We would like to close with a request. If you find yourself wanting to give to a charity on or before Christmas Day, please consider helping Patrick’s school. They are a not-for-profit, so your donation is tax-deductible. In August, Patrick’s program was able to double in expansion. Even though parents do pay tuition, not all costs are covered. One hundred percent of the money stays in the school and at least 85% or more goes directly to the children. We have been honored already by the response of my friends on Facebook and Twitter, and have raised our goal twice now. You can make a donation by going on-line to: http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/hildabowen/annual-campaign-2011 We wrote a story on there as well (similar to my Rock Autism speech). If you are leery about using Visa/Mastercard, then you can send them a check directly to (just attach a note that it is in honor of Patrick). Allison Boyd, Donor Services, Including Kids, 5364 FM 1960 East, Humble, Texas 77346 Make it payable to Including Kids Thank you for your consideration in this. Even $5 helps.

May we share in the song of the angels, the gladness of the shepherds, and worship of the wise men. Close the door of hate and open the door of love all over the world. Let kindness come with every gift and good desires with every greeting. Teach us to be merry with clear hearts. May Christmas morning make us happy to be Thy children, and Christmas evening bring us to our beds with grateful thoughts, forgiving and forgiven. Peace & blessings are wished to you and your families always.

Happy Holidays!
Hilda, Jeff & Patrick


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Categories : American Idol, New Girl, Personal, So You Think You Can Dance, Stargate, TV shows

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to all!

25 12 2011
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To all my friends from this blog, Twitter, Facebook, or my travels along this road of life, I treasure you all. I’m sorry if I wind up not being able to acknowledge each and every one of you on a one-to-one level (although God knows I’m trying before Christmas turns into a pumpkin). Thank you for all the support you’ve shown me and my family over the past year. Thank you for laughing at my odd sense of humor and accepting all the craziness that is wrapped up in me. Thank you for those moments where I needed uplifting because I was so exhausted. Thank you for supporting me through my chronic health issues this year. Thank you for the radical honesty for the times when I’ve needed that. Thank you for encouraging me when I had self-doubt. I am blessed by your friendship more than you will ever know. Next to my family, you are the greatest gifts in my life and I will be remembering you on this day.

I intend to kick 2012’s ass. Perhaps it will kick mine. But it will be interesting whatever happens. It is comforting knowing that you will all be a part of that.


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Categories : Personal

Memory Tree

18 12 2011

I look forward to putting up our Christmas tree every year for two reasons. The first reason is knowing Patrick is going to love it. There is something about the twinkling of each delicate light and moving to and fro that allows him to appreciate the full spectrum of colors in a way I wish I could see. For Jeff and me, it is a yearly trip down memory lane. Our tradition is to put up our tree the Saturday or Sunday after Thanksgiving. Two years ago, Patrick was in his bedroom at the time. When he came into the room the next morning, the smile that crept up on his face was brighter than any star in the sky. My Christmas contentment lay within that smile. Last year he became the task-master, voicing his protest if we stopped at all to take a break. We would deliberately rest just to bust his chops and listen to him protest. This year he mellowed out, eagerly watching the lights go up, but still loving every bit. He is not quite ready to put the ornaments on the tree. We have tried. I think he does not like the feel of the artificial tree.

Every ornament I can trace back to a loving memory. After my mother died, of all the items left to me, the six ornaments that date back to my childhood hold the most significance. Being the dysfunctional home it was, our holidays then were filled with a mixture of happiness and heartache. However, when I look at these ornaments, I choose to remember the joy. They are old and falling apart. I do not know how much longer I will be able to repair them.

Ornament from my childhood

The tennis racquet ornament brings to my mind memories of my first love and the Christmas we spent together here in Houston.

Tennis racquet I bought for my first love.

There is the Santa & Mrs. Claus sleeping in a bed, handmade by a physician’s assistant with whom I worked; Mrs. Claus’ head is now missing.

Mr. Claus sleeps with a headless Ms. Claus.

There are the many ornaments I gathered in the first days of my first apartment. I found a wonderful company called Cracker Box who makes kits for these homemade ornaments with beads and lace and pins. For two years, one each year, I made these works of art. Their instructions were hysterical, injecting the personality of those who wrote them.

Those pins hurt putting in after awhile.

Before getting married I joined a Disney ornament-of-the-month club. There is Minnie, Mickey, Pinocchio, Donald Duck, and several others from that period of my life. Pinocchio’s nose has broken off.

Pinocchio's nose fell off.

Received as a wedding gift is a Lenox ornament of 2 doves kissing and labeled as “first Christmas.”

We moved on to our Star Trek ornament collectible obsession.

Picard stands watch of the Enterprise (the original) below.

It was then we began our golden retriever ornament collection.

Golden retrievers are now our obsession.

After Patrick was born, we added a “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament. Three ornaments are a result of my trip to Disneyworld in Florida in the late 1990’s with some friends. I have an ornament or two from an overnight trip to Kemah, Texas. During our 2001 trip to Vancouver, BC, I picked up an awesome golden retriever ornament on skis and with goggles on from a store in Whistler (where the 2010 Winter Olympics were held).

From Whistler, BC to our home.

I remember each ornament given to us as a gift and by whom. I think of those people with affection as we are hanging them.  Adorning our tree, too, are the handmade ornaments Patrick has made since he was a toddler.

Two years ago, MGM put out a Stargate SG-1 ornament (that I got half-price the bargain shopper I am). I was gravely disappointed to find our local Carlton Cards went out of business.

Stargate SG-1

Once done, we sit back and marvel at our memory tree, a symbolic diary of our lives.

What are your Christmas tree traditions?


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Categories : Personal, Stargate

Join Team Patrick!

14 11 2011

I knew it was a long time since I’ve posted, but I had no idea it’s been almost 2 months. After Halloween is over, things seem to go into high gear, don’t they? Unexpected illnesses throw the whole schedule off. Tonight I’m starting our annual Christmas letter because I have about 200 cards to send out via regular mail not to mention the ones I send electronically. I just opened the mail I’ve been neglecting for a month. I have no time to even start a game of Skyrim. The Fringe fall finale is this Friday (what????) Its nuts! I was supposed to have attended Wizard World in Austin today for a day trip with my husband to visit Alaina Huffman and Julia Benson of Stargate Universe, but the flu decided to pay us a visit on Monday night to Tuesday morning and then Patrick proceeded to get sick. I haven’t read Joe Mallozzi’s blog in over a week, something I make sure to attend to every day. I also need to work, help Patrick’s school, and put up at least a Christmas tree.

I did accomplish quite a bit today considering I’ve been out of it for about a week. One of those items includes a fundraiser campaign for my son’s not-for-profit autism school, Including Kids. I know that budgets are tight and dollars are precious, but autism waits for no one. I would like to invite you to read our story, about this wonderful school and the difference you can make with even a small donation (even $5.00 helps).

My family thanks you for the support you have always shown us. I don’t know how we would have gotten this far without the financial, emotional and spiritual support of friends, family and even strangers.  If you feel like you might be able to contribute to this wonderful school, please follow this link:

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/hildabowen/annual-campaign-2011

Thanks for joining Team Patrick. Although I set the goal at the level that was requested by the school of each of the parents, I would truly like to exceed the amount. The amount is tax-deductible.

Blessings to all.

 

 


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Categories : Autism

So You Think You Can Dance — Finale Performance Show

11 08 2011

It has been a wonderful journey with the best group of dancers to ever be picked in the Top 20 of So You Think You Can Dance. Tonight, the four favorites who flitted into our hearts were: Marko, Melanie, Sasha and Tadd. Katie Holmes and Kenny Ortega served as guest judges for this evening (I just LOVE Kenny Ortega).

Final4

The final 4: Marko, Sasha, Melanie, Tadd

Dancers: Melanie and Marko
Song: “I Feel Love”
Artist: Donna Summer
Choreographer: Doriana Sanchez
Style: Disco
Story: None, just high-energy disco.

I was wondering when disco was going to show up. This song was a blast to my past. It was lovely seeing them partner again. Dressed like John Travolta, Marko did a slightly better job than Melanie with a bit more energy into all his movements. While it was danced well and it was fun to watch, there was no emotional investment in it for me and did not bring me back to that golden era. Kenny thought it was electric, sizzling and great. Katie loved it and said it was like watching Saturday Night Fever. Mary Murphy pointed out that the lifts were not great and they went in and out of the style. Nigel agreed with Mary and felt they were uncomfortable in the style and hoped that they do better in their other routines this evening.

Dancers: Sasha and all-star Mark Kanemura
Song: “Raise Your Weapon”
Artist: Deadmau5
Choreographer: Sonya Tayeh
Style: Contemporary
Story: Ode to Sasha from Sonya, that Sasha handles all the struggles in her life with such grace and integrity, fueling her and giving her power. Mark represents the obstacles.

Another emotional dance for Sasha. This dance brought both goosebumps and tears and then a “hell-yah” out of me during the final sequence when she throws her obstacles to the ground (i.e., Mark). What a powerhouse duo in this pairing (Are you ready to join Lady Gaga’s tour, Sasha, with Mark?)! It stung me in all my emotionally vulnerable hotspots. Sasha has had some incredible performances, but this one tops them all. Mark is the perfect example of someone who did not win the show who went on to do fantastic things in the dance world. Like a fine wine, he has gotten better with age. Katie loved it, especially that walk at the end. Mary pulled out her train-whistled woo-hoo for this and called her a champion and a star. Nigel thought Sasha just threw down the gauntlet to the other three contestants.
Before getting to Sasha’s critique, Kenny had glowing things to say to Sonya who was deeply moved by his accolades. Turning to Sasha, he cited her struggles this week–an injury, battling against Melanie–but claimed her “Sasha, Warrior Princess.”

Dancers: Tadd and all-star Joshua Allen
Song: “Hustle Hard” (Traditional)
Artists: Ace Hood
Choreographer: Lil’C
Style: Hip-hop
Story: None, just the hustle.

Lil’C choreographed a very difficult routine. Tadd is the dark horse in this race, but having Joshua dance with him did not help him, like watching a master and his apprentice. Joshua was crouching lower and hitting harder. Tadd made it this far not only because of his dance technique but also his personality. Just looking at Tadd though, this is the best I have seen him dance all season. Mary said his difficulty is the “sweetie-pie” factor, but was able to pull off a hard-hitting hip-hop style. “Hustle Hard” was Tadd’s theme song for this season. Nigel complimented the moves on the knees, but still felt he was too sweet. Kenny thought the pairing was perfect and wants a pair of the red shoes. Katie thought his hustling was terrific and she loved the pairing. The red shoes helped to highlight how fast of a dancer he was.

Dancers: Melanie and all-star Robert Roldan
Song: “Sacrifice”
Artist: Sinead O’Connor
Choreographer: Stacey Tookey
Style: Contemporary
Story: Unrequited love; in order to save herself, she has to say good-bye.

My goosebumps started halfway through and were at standing straight up on my arm and traveling down my legs by the time the song was over, a lovely rendition of the famous Elton John song. I loved this pairing as well, as each complimented each other. Nigel felt like Sasha threw down the gauntlet and the challenge was accepted. Kenny would push himself to the front of the line to have a chance to work with Melanie. At this point, Cat announced that he would be resurrecting “Dirty Dancing” and got Melanie her first job after SYTYCD. Katie thinks she is a magical dancer and loves how she creates stories. Mary feels like she is in a class of her own and is so proud of her. Melanie feels so blessed for the journey.

Dancers: Sasha and Marko
Song: “Whatever Lola Wants”
Artist: Ella Fitzgerald
Choreographer: Spencer Liff
Style: Broadway
Story: A restaurant scene. Marko is the waiter, Sasha an elegant dinner who wants to order something off menu.

Hot and spicy, both Sasha and Marko played their roles well. She looked elegant in her purple gown, showing off her cougaress cavort, going after what appeared to be a younger, geeky waiter, portrayed by Marko. Kenny thought it was fun, and their character conversions were fantastic. He had a few extra words of praise for Sasha about her giving her all for every performance. Katie compared Sasha to the legendary Cyd Charisse and thought Marko was great. Mary did not initially recognize Marko and thought he was perhaps one of the all-stars. She was surprised at what a wonderful actor he is, saying that it is not easy to pull off comedy and dance at the same time. The dance, however, did not wow Nigel. He thought Sasha was a better warrior princess than a vamp. He did not understand Marko’s character at all.

Taking a break in the dance action, Cat showed some interviews that she had with all the contestants. Melanie’s favorite moment was dancing with Neil Haskell (with the launch she did into his arms halfway across the stage). Her closest buddy in the competition is Ricky because he can make anyone smile and was such a fighter regardless of the criticism each week. Out of the four remaining, she feels closest to Marko. She misses her father and knows that he would be very proud of her. She then performed her solo to “Song for Viola” by Peter Bradley Adams. I cried, feeling like she was dancing that for her father.

Cat asked Marko what he was thinking when she read his name as the first one through to the finale. He had closed his eyes and wondered why she was waiting (she was waiting for him to open his eyes). His favorite performance was “Turned to Stone” with Melanie. She asked him what it was like to have his mother in the audience, and he again shared that he was not always the most grateful child growing up. Winning would mean “everything” to him. When he got shot, he was searching for the reasons why he survived and perhaps this show was a vehicle for that. He then performed his solo to “The Fear You Won’t Fall” by Joshua Radin, incorporating all he has learned, growing a great deal since his original audition. Tonight, his father was in the audience for the first time, giving him an extra boost.

Dancers: Sasha and Tadd
Song: “Raindrops”
Artist: Basement Jaxx
Choreographer: Mark Ballas
Style: Cha-cha
Story: None, just fun and sassy.

This was not finale-quality dancing. Both looked uncomfortable in the style. Because of that, they did not have that hot, spicy chemistry. The height difference was an issue for me. Katie completely bypassed saying anything about the dance itself and just complimented them on the journey. I think Katie did not want to be booed. Although agreeing with Katie, Mary had to talk about the dance. It just did not work–the connections, the body positions, missing hand connections, lack of chemistry, although Sasha fared a little bit better than Tadd. Nigel agrees with Mary, saying it was uncomfortable to watch. While Sasha did a bit better, Nigel felt it did not bear well for her either. Kenny said it was too ambitious for the last show and for them to walk it off and come back and blow us all away.

Dancers: Marko and all-star Lauren Froderman
Song: “Shirk”
Artist: Me’Shell Ndegedcello
Choreographer: Tessandra Chavez
Style: Contemporary
Story: Two people drawn to each other who can’t seem to find a way to make it work.

Setting the tone for the routine, Lauren was already in character, shedding tears when the dance started. This was another dance that drew me in emotionally, taking me on a journey of moments of my own life. My goosebumps never lie. Mary thought it was beautiful, provoking honest communication in the dance, feeling his soul. Nigel felt like it was a fabulous performance, redeeming his past dances of the evening. Kenny again complimented the outstanding choreography. He felt this was perfect partnering for him, that their spirits became alive, taking him to a distant place. Whatever Marko was doing in that dance, he needed to continue doing it. Katie also thanked Tessandra for the piece. He thanked Marko for creating these picture moments for her while he danced and deemed him magical (Magical Marko–it works–Cat stop stealing my phrases).

Tadd’s interview and solo were next. He thought and dreamed about being in the finale but cannot believe he is here. He thinks America is connecting to him in his solos. His favorite routine was the vulture dance with Jordan that Travis Wall choreographed. Most nervous performance was the first show when they had to make a first impression. There is web site apparently called: The Official “Keep Your Shirt Off Tadd” Fan Club. He said for some reason people want him to be naked, but Cat points out there is a difference between shirtless and naked. Winning would change his and his family’s lives. Dancing his last solo before voting to “Momma Knows Best” by Jessie J, Tadd showed off why we love him so. It was playful and creative.

Dancers: Tadd and Melanie
Song: “Show Me What You’re Working With”
Artist: Sista Monica
Choreographer: Ray Leeper
Style: Jazz
Story: A guy cheats on his girlfriend and she catches him in the act. Sexy, naughty with a little dysfunction thrown in.

This dance showcased Tadd much better. Since he was comfortable, the chemistry flowed like river rapids between them. I got sexy, naughty and the dysfunction. It must have been difficult for Melanie to dance that short while with one heel on and one off; I can barely walk that way. The routine was a lot of good fun. The strip-tease of Tadd for his fan-base was a great touch after the comments made in his interview. The routine brought Nigel’s evening to life. He praised Tadd for a job well done, while complimenting Melanie for selling the character before the dancing ever began. Kenny apparently let out a “woo” during the dance. He loved everything about it and felt the choreographer delivered the perfect routine to showcase their strengths during a finale show. Katie felt like it was a breath of fresh air. Mary thought Tadd brought the sexy back and Melanie’s strut was like no other.

In the final interview and solo, Sasha never thought she would make it this far, loving that her sister has been with her the entire journey. Her favorite moment was when Lady Gaga threw her shoe. Several routines stood out to her, but she asked Cat which one she liked and Cat said the routine with Twitch. She talked more about the wonderful routine with Kent Boyd (with the wall), saying she had to go to a very dark place, and she had to put her journey into the dance. Seeing people affected emotionally in response to her dancing meant a great deal to her. Dancing to “Be Be Your Love” by Rachael Yamagata, Sasha also showed the audience the growth attained this season from that of her first audition.

Dancers: Sasha and Melanie
Song: “Heart Asks Pleasure First”
Artist: Anh Trio
Choreographer: Stacey Tookey
Style: Contemporary
Story: Suppressed housewives in the 1950s, feelings of isolation and loneliness. The two join forces to break free.

Extremely beautiful. Melanie and Sasha are in direct competition with each other, yet they dance and support each other every time they dance together like true professionals. Another moment of chills for me. Kenny thought the picket fences were symbolic of prison bars and the space in the yard the only place where these women could express themselves. It made him feel hopeless and he wanted to rush in and free them. It also made him curious about their paths, where these characters came from and where they were going. Katie loved the message about friendship and the power that two women can give to each other. Mary enjoyed every second of it, enjoying the movement and musicality. Nigel shared with the audience what we did not see–that each of them hugged each other and wished each other luck before the show came back on air. He said it did not matter who won because they would both grace any dance company they would join.

Dancers: Marko and Tadd
Song: “B.O.B.”
Artist: Outkast
Choreographer: Chuck Maldonado
Style: Gumboot stepping (hip-hop)
Story: Form of dance that was used to communicate in the mines of South Africa

A fantastic, high-energy way to close the show. Tadd had the slight edge in this dance, but Marko was not too shabby. The timing was a little off, but I noticed Tadd looking over at Marko at times to try to get them back in sync again. Katie enjoyed the athletic ability in this number, but it also sound like she was holding something back. Mary felt like it was solid gold for her. Nigel pointed out the rhythms were not together in this routine. Then he crushed them by saying he has felt all along a girl would win this season and that hadn’t changed although they stood up well for themselves tonight. Kenny thanked the dancers and the choreographer.

If it was simply based on dancing tonight, it would have to be Melanie, Marko, Sasha and Tadd. If it came down to most improved dancers over the season, it would be Tadd, Sasha, Marko and Melanie since Tadd, the b-boy held his own outside his own style of dance. Then Sasha was finally partnered with someone who brought out the best in her during the all-stars, and Marko and Melanie have remained pretty level throughout the competition. If it is based on the dancing all season it would be a tie between Melanie/Sasha then Marko and Tadd. However, the show is about America’s favorite dancer. Sasha has an overwhelming fan base and it will come down to who voted more, Melanie’s fans or Sasha’s fans. The margin of votes will be very, very close.  I predict Sasha is going to win.  But Nigel is right:  Both Melanie and Sasha will have tremendous careers after this (and I believe Marko and Tadd will, too).

Hilda Clark Bowen (a.k.a. PBMom)

Hilda Bowen (a.k.a. PBMom)


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Categories : So You Think You Can Dance

Patrick Turns 15

17 12 2010

At 11:57 a.m. today, December 17, Patrick will turn 15 years of age. It is a day worth celebrating, especially given the progress he has made since his diagnosis of autism when he was about 18 months of age. There were times then he retreated into a world of almost catatonia, where a low hum was the only sound coming from him. We used to call it his mantra chant. The path has been fraught with ups and downs. We were like ants on a mountain, fighting for every piece of territory gained, always being undermined by the elements. A parent would not give up on their child if they had cancer; they would seek out whatever treatment their child needed regardless of whether or not it was covered by insurance, regardless whether or not it would lead them to bankruptcy. Such is true of parents with kids with autism. The only difference is that the cancer (the autism) is a lifelong battle.

Patrick as a baby

 

True to our beliefs, we have mostly lived in the present for Patrick. I stopped blaming myself for his autism. They were not all happy days, especially during 2004-2010 when we battled the school district for every little thing; anger was the only thing to which they responded, so we used whatever was in our arsenal to help Patrick.

I cannot help by feel incredibly blessed by the miracle that happened to us. We made the decision to cut the school district out of his life, especially after listening to some digital voice recordings we made over the summer to see exactly what was going on in his classroom. Two teachers engaged in extremely unethical behavior. We had planned to homeschool him, but an opportunity arose for him to attend a private school in the area. In just a matter of 9 days, they accomplished more than the school district did in 6 years. I love the shock and awe coming from my friends and family as they witness his metamorphosis. In this Christmas season, it is the second best Christmas present we have ever gotten, the first being my son’s birth.

Patrick's first day home; getting acquainted with Sam, our golden.

We would not be good parents, however, if we did not think of Patrick’s future in some shape. In the climate of the current state of affairs in Texas, it does not look bright. There are some very grim statistics: Approximately 70% of kids with autism like my son (especially those who are considered nonverbal) will be sexually abused in their lifetime. Texas has the distinction of the notorious “Fight Clubs” in state institutions where the residents were made to fight each other for the entertainment of staff. In a report dated December 1, 2008, the Department of Justice sent a letter to Governor Rick Perry about their investigative findings. Texas lawmakers have known about the abuses and deaths in the system for years and never did a thing about it–until the DOJ threatened to cut off federal funding. In their report, they noted that between the fiscal year 2004 and the current investigation of 2008 more than 800 employees across all 13 facilities that serve nearly 4600 residents had been suspended or fired for abuse, neglect or exploitation of the residents. Over 200 had been fired in just the year 2007 and another 200 had been fired in 2006. Fifty-three residents in the state facilities died in just the year 2008. The state took legislative action, but things have actually worsened.

Our extended family all live out of state. As we age, so do our siblings. We cannot ask the children born to our siblings to take on the responsibility of taking care of Patrick as he ages if we are no longer capable of doing so. The sheer amount of information that would be required of them to understand is mind-boggling. The second hindrance is that the money does not follow the person. For example, if my husband and I were to die, if someone in the family decided to take on the responsibility of care, they would have to leave him in the state of Texas. If they took him to another state, he would go on the bottom of whatever waiting list that state had. It took 10 years for my son to get off the waiting lists in Texas; with funding about to be cut this year, the people still on the wait list are going to have to endure even longer waits. If we decided to leave this state to be closer to family, the same problem occurs.

People with disabilities face job discrimination. In November 2010, the Department of Labor released a report on job statistics for people with disabilities. The percentage of people with disabilities in the labor force was 21.5. By comparison, the percentage of persons with no disability in the labor force was 69.8. The unemployment rate for those with disabilities was 14.5 percent, compared with 9.1 percent for persons with no disability, not seasonally adjusted.

Stereotypes of the homeless and unemployed plague people with disabilities. Too many people conjure up in their minds a drunk or drug-filled person who chooses to live the lifestyle they do. In fact, in 2008 more than 40% of the homeless are people with disabilities. These stereotypes lead to cuts in state and federal funding that could help these people become contributing tax-paying citizens.

It is unlikely that Patrick will ever be on a cognitive level to ever become a father as he can barely care for himself. If Patrick was a girl, I would be able to obtain birth control pills to protect from the incidents of sexual abuse that might lead to pregnancy. Because he is a boy, a vasectomy as a method of birth control is considered controversial. This is different from the controversy of routine sterilization of people with disabilities in the past.

All these things lead my husband and me to the conclusion that we have to outlive our son. If we do not, there will be no one to protect him.

Me and Patrick; I could look at him all day.

As we celebrate all of his accomplishments today and rejoice in remembering the day of his birth, we keep a wary eye on his future.

Autism Awareness


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