Pbmom's Blog

As I sit down to eat Christmas dinner on December 25 with my husband and son, I will go through my 10 or more minutes of crying. When we recount our list of blessings, my list is usually long. This year, it will be even longer. I start off slow, thanking the Earth for the food, the people who planted it, grew it, harvested it, and transported it so that I could enjoy the meal of which I am about to partake. I make sure to thank the turkey for its life. Then the tears come–for the people who are going hungry, who are homeless, who are hopeless, and who are loveless. I may have helped some over the year, but did I do enough? Not likely. There is always more an individual can do. I gratefully acknowledge the people who have sacrificed their lives–our military and the quiet heroes of daily life. I say a blessing to those families who are grieving the death of a loved one; holidays can be the hardest times in their lives. Then I’ll begin to recount all the blessings currently in my own life.

This year I want for nothing, okay maybe except the Adam Lambert new acoustic CD and an announcement that Stargate Universe has been picked up by another network, but all-in-all, I have everything I could ever need or want. My son is thriving at the private school (and we found a funding source for it). The enormous stress of fighting a corrupt school district is gone. I have a husband who loves me and has for almost 20 years now despite seeing the deepest, darkest places of my soul. I have a wonderful golden retriever. I have a loving family, a roof over my head in a fantastic area to live, food in my stomach, a decent car to drive, great neighbors, wonderful friends, and an employer who is continuing to let me try to work each day as much as I can instead of filing for disability. Of course our retirement account was reduced to a 201K from a 401K after the economic meltdown as was everyone else’s, but Patrick’s autism expenses pretty much ate up the rest of it. Somehow I know we will be okay. While I might moan and complain about circumstances every now and again, a swift kick to my rear brings about enormous perspective.

The things I have on my Christmas wish list require the cooperation of others in order to achieve:

1. World peace. Sounds corny, I know, but I’m an idealistic fool who thinks this is actually possible. Before that happens, we will have to get rid of prejudice and hate. In order to get rid of prejudice and hate, we need better educated people.

2. End to hunger: With all the food we have and waste every day, we could feed the world.

End Hunger

3. A cure for autism: Just because I love my son and accept his diagnosis, doesn’t mean I would not want to make life easier for him, and for other parents not to have to even take this journey. The life lessons have been tremendous, but at what cost?

While I am waiting for those things to happen, I will continue to try to do my part, helping one person at a time, one day at a time.

People tend to store their “good will towards men” for just the Christmas season. As they pack away the Christmas decorations, the spirit of Christmas leaves them as well. Perhaps I should dream smaller. Perhaps my ultimate Christmas wish is for others to find the heart of Christmas in their daily lives and keep that siren song alive year-round. Instead of the 12 days of Christmas, we would sing the joys of 365 days of Christmas. Can you imagine what an astounding force of nature we as a people would be?